Attic Ivy

Crawling out of every corner of New York, from Inwood to Long Island, Attic Ivy has more parking violations than actual fans, making them truly authentic in the New York sub-verse.

The band consists of Pablo Solotarow (5’10 180lbs, owes NY state $1500 in parking tickets, currently under liability lawsuit, recently unemployed), Sanam Singh (5’6 168lbs, running rtx 3060ti and intel i7, fought 6 cops during psychosis, recently unemployed), and Jacob Martin (5’7 181lbs, Pokémon® card collection valued $500-$1000, beat nicotine addiction, recently employed). 

They have played thirteen more shows in 2024 than the official #1 title holder of “New York City’s Hardest Working Bands of 2024” by OhMyRockness.

They are the sponsors of Easton, Maryland’s official soccer team “Boykissers FC”. Three in four self proclaimed Attic Ivy fans reportedly show signs of neuro-divergent behaviors such as ADHD & Autism. 

Attic Ivy is accepting all offers for 1v1s in basketball, and live-streaming Elden Ring weekly on Instagram live instead of looking at jobs on Indeed. They are in the process of getting a Peter Dinklage collaboration.

East Coast Stoner ®
Header Photo: @celiacsdiseasisreal
Photo 1&2: @ikilledtwobirdswith22stones
Photo 3: @lucyr5000