Contraband

In the beginning, there was only bass. Its four strings rumbled through the universe. After three billion years, Oscar decided to change his bass strings. And the discarded strings split into six, and thus, there was guitar. And the one worthy enough to pick it up was Kevin. The two instruments complimented each other well.

However, the bass could not keep a steady beat all on its own. The mountains quaked and from the horizon rose Emil Hammer and with his tight beats he led the lost souls of treble and bass to a new frontier. Together they formed a band. But without a singer, they remained incomplete. That's when the descendant of a curious race of apes stepped up with his massively underqualified vocal abilities.

The band of immortals and Hugo rocked the Earth and swore to do so until Hugo's untimely demise...

In the blink of an eye on the cosmological time scale Hugo died of "natural causes" which trapped the band in the liminal zone of instrumental music. Kevin, unable to take it any longer, fused Hugo's lost soul with his final piece of snus. Like a phoenix from the ashes rose Jonathan F. Tobacco, known to mere mortals as Jon Snus. The band rocked once more.

After some time the band started to notice that Emil was changing. Much like a certain franchise of pocket monsters trapped inside balls, Emil evolved into a mythical being only known as Oskar "The Boat" Eriksson. The world rejoiced! The drums were tight, the vocals were in key, and all was good.

For now...