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Artist

Dave Mustardface

Last updated: 2 days ago

We interviewed Dave Mustardface after recognising him in a local coffee shop. He appeared to be severely inebriated.

"I use a lot of crabs in my music. I go to the fishmongers in town and pick up as many crabs as I can carry, which is usually around 5 crabs. I remove the pincers and throw the rest away. Pincers can be used for a number of things but what I do is; I tape them to my finger tips and use them to play guitar instead of guitar picks"

We asked several questions but they were met with utter confusion and even rage.

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