War Honey

War Honey is an indie rock band from Brooklyn who understands that the key to success is writing overly flattering things about yourself in the third person and then trying to pass those things off as something that an impartial stranger wrote. That being said, their music is so ineffably astounding that one mere listen to it will give you an orgasm so intense that it will temporarily transport your brain to another dimension where humanity is ruled by hats.

However, even though the hats subject all of humanity to cruel oppression in this dimension, they themselves are not without their own internal class struggles.

The top hats are the ruling hats who reap most of the wealth generated by the labor of all of the other hats and all the humans beneath them. Beneath them are the bowler hats, behind whom are ten-gallon hats, who are in turn closely followed by fedoras, as so on with different kinds of hats following each other in the intricate hierarchy of the dimension where humanity is ruled by hats. At the bottom of the hierarchy are snapbacks, whom everyone else despises and feels superior to. But in this dimension, even the lowliest of lowly snapbacks is still higher in society than the loftiest of humans.

Wow! What a strange place!

You can visit this dimension by listening to War Honey’s music. Try it, you’ll see! Or maybe not, I don’t know. Just know that this promise won’t hold up in court.

Did I write a bio correctly?