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The ideal artist is mouth breather.

Of course mouth breather is not the only ally wanted in this world — but arguably the best. Portable. Stackable. Focused. Infinitely reliable and wholly self sufficient. What else in this world speaks as much and keeps as quiet. He is more patient than any friend. More ready with “mystic truths” than any artist. No living high-priest or scholar fits into an architectural niche like mouth breather. No witch knows as many spells as mouth breather. He is even above influence and bribery. Suffice it to say, mouth breather is a ridiculously good tool in this muck of a world — and risking redundancy — an ideal companion.

Please note:

• Keep mouth breather away from open flame or sparks.
• He is prone to mold and mildew under damp conditions.
• Isolate from caustic substances such as acids and bases.

Optimus Os Sunt Loquitur

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