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We carry the joys and sorrows of our history. They call to us to remember. Fond memories, deep wounds, all fight for their place in our mind. We try to remember the good, and let go of the bad. So, we push the deep wounds into the shadow of our minds and hearts trying to forget. But in trying to disconnect from the pain we disconnect from ourselves and from the light. This is where I found myself at the beginning of my story. After three decades of my own forced disconnection, I had a powerful mystical experience that connected me momentarily to the light within, and it would show me how that same light was within everything and everyone. I realized that joy and gratitude are not momentary emotional experiences but are, in fact, all around us, ever present and ready to be experienced if we would only look. So I did. I began my journey into the light. But first, I would have to go into the darkness of my psyche and make peace with all I had hidden. In that journey, the realization came that not only am I the light but I am also the shadow. That both aspects of myself deserve my love and my acceptance. And if these ideas are true for me, they are true for every person, every joy, every heartache, every betrayal, and every show of loyalty. My journey into the shadow of my heart showed me that everything is love. That's why I make music. I take that heartache, pain, joy, laughter, the sum total of my whole human experience, and transform it into love. I am love. I am Soll.

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